DRIVE IT LIKE YOU STOLE IT (ebook, 2009) is a full-length novel by Jesse Hulcher, written entirely during the month of November. National Novel Writing Month occurs each November, ill-advisedly encouraging both experienced and novice writers to produce a full-length novel entirely within the span of that month. The first in a possible series, DILYSI depicts Hulcher’s fictionalized travels through the American Southwest, chronicling the meandering of he and a friend as they aimlessly wander the desert, becoming embroiled in altercations with the police, engaging in regular substance abuse, and repeatedly initiating sexual relationships with strangers.


Excerpt from DILYSI introduction by Jesse Hulcher:

Sometimes a story comes out that blows everything out of the
water. And it’s always a once in a lifetime opportunity to read a story
like that and have the ride of your life. This is the story of that kind of
opportunity, to be honest. So why not try to take advantage of it?
After all, we’re all going to die soon. So you might as well lean back
and get ready for the adventure of the year, as the movie of the year
starts to take you away to a whole new place and time, and it might
be written in a way that might be hard to deal with. So take a page
out of the book of Jesse and kick back with a tall, cool, cold, long one
and relax and hear about the story of a lifetime that could literarily
knock your socks off or maybe change your life just a little bit. And all
you have to do is read it to believe that it’s all real. And it might just
be the greatest story that had ever been told!

Written with a reckless stream-of-consciousness, and an authorship that speaks to the television-poisoned mind of an ignorant, adolescent, heterosexual, American male, DILYSI is the modern equivalent of Jack Kerouac’s On the Road, and is appropriately dumbed-down for modern readers. If Beavis and Butt-Head were to attempt to write the great american novel, it might read something like this.

Acid Rain collaborated with Jesse Hulcher to reissue the novel which you can download here.